Why does it take courage to reflect? Reflection requires you to revisit memories that maybe you’d like to keep stuffed away. But, when you choose to re-enter the painful, more difficult moments you’ve already experienced and learn from them, you cultivate courage for future experiences on the road ahead. Always, when you allow your pain to have a purpose (even if that is acknowledging your own deficiency) you are living with courage. Wasted pain is the most tragic loss in the human experience. Here are a few pointers when you take time to reflect.
Courage in Grief
In a year marked by considerable loss, we all need embrace grief with courage.
I usually listen back to the podcast episode that addresses the week’s blog topic, but this week that won’t be necessary. Loss entered our home again, rudely this week. The reverberation of the tectonic shift that came with another COVID outbreak sent a tremor over our family.
Courage in Overwhelm
Sometimes it can be hard to admit that we are finite and frail, isn’t it? We don’t always like to admit our limitations and put ourselves in the vulnerable position of receiving help. This may scratch our ego or disrupt our image of being strong and steady. But, eventually we all get overwhelmed. The truth is being a human is hard and takes lots of courage. We might as well admit we’re not invincible. Overwhelm invites us to be courageously intentional with our self care.
Favorite Books to Cultivate Courage
This may be my favorite harvest from our “quarantine project” that became a full on podcast. In this episode we talk about our favorite books that have helped us cultivate courage. From embracing the potential to edit our own stories to accepting that intimacy and vulnerability have an impact on how courageous we are with others, it’s all here.
Find out which author was a top pic for both of us. LISTEN TO PODCAST AND DOWNLOAD THE LIST.
Courage to Pivot
If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s this; sometimes our plans are forced to change. How we frame that reality takes courage. We can label our efforts as failures and beat ourselves up over the outcome. We can live in the fear of other people’s judgements and expectations of how we should respond when plans need to change. Or, we can be brave. We can assess our “why,” survey the options and pivot in order to stay the course that aligns with our priorities. Learning to pivot, embracing change, is one way to cultivate your courage.
Courage to Cry
If you view crying as weak consider this perspective. Meekness is controlled strength. We can put on a strong and steely exterior if we choose to, or we can control that strength and allow our humanity to be exposed. If we choose meekness eventually there will be tears. The truth is, tears are indicators. Laying aside our self-sufficient facade, having the strength to reveal our need and cry takes courage.
Courage in Failure
OK, so maybe something didn’t workout the way you thought it would. Maybe it was a relationship, or a plan, or even a new venture, no matter what flopped, you’re already ahead of the game. At least you used the courage to try in the first place. We all tend frame our flops as failures initially, the gold is to reframe this tilted perspective. You tried, that took courage. You can accept that you learned what doesn’t work so well with vulnerability, that takes courage. You can bounce back and apply that learning moving forward, now your cultivating courage! All the learning we do through experience has a cost, the cost is courage.
Courage in Success
Success is a journey. A journey that requires you to survey roads and pathways laid out by others. To evaluate where you’d like to go. And setting a course. No one has ever lived the same life you are living. Roadblocks, detours, and forks in the road will pop up as you set your course. There will be risk. And wherever risk is present courage is required. Living with individuality, taking responsibility for your own path of success takes courage.
Courage to Say Hard Things
Risk.Fear.Pain. These are just a few of the discomforts we feel when saying hard things. Will the recipient want to shoot the messenger? Will they handle us with tenderness and compassion? You won’t know unless you put on your brave girl panties and face the fear of…the unknown, will you? Initiating hard conversations invites others to cultivate courage with you.
Courage in Self-Awareness
You’ve heard the phrase; no pain no gain, haven’t you? Well, the same can be said for personal growth and self-awareness. We can’t grow, change, and become our most healthy selves without having the courage to look within and ask some scary questions. Separating who you are, from who others say you are, is an act of courage.